visit USA
sit next to cool guy from india
get off airplane with light hand luggage
go through customs behind friendly sikh guy with turban
All of the TSA officers pull M16's on the sikh guy
Fire 16 shots into guys chest while screaming 'Murrrica
I walk through the unattended gate
a large black woman stops me
"mmmmm mmmmmmmmm watchoo think YO goin"
rapes my arse with gloves
says she was looking for a bottle water that was the wrong size
leave through narrow hallway of advertisements and people trying to get me to sign up for online university
go to bus stop
bus is leaving
run for bus
people on mobility scooters turn to me in disgust
"oh my god he's exercising, somebody call 911"
block me from running with their mobility scooters
miss bus
police arrive, tell me to get down on the ground
I do as im told, "Im just a tourist, im innocent"
"he's resisting arrest" they shout, as they taser me and search my bag
after they find nothing, i offer my passport as ID
police officer says "whats this?"
"my passport, for leaving and entering countries"
"you kidding me? now why would anyone need one of these?!" he said
officer sprays pepper spray in my eyes and tells me to be on my way
a mobility scooter rolls just into the road
officer tickets him for jay-scooting
go wait for another bus
people ask why im crying, tell them about the pepper spray
peppered steak? their eyes light up
"no, Mace" i say
"oh". everyone offers me xanax and a variety of pain meds
take 2, ask if they have some water
turn to each other like "whats water?"
"you know, to drink?" I respond
"oh you mean coca cola" they say
woman opens bag and takes out bottle of diet cola
takes out bag of sugar and pours it into the diet cola
"here drink this, anon"
swallow xanax with sugar saturated coca cola and board bus
bus has mini-escalator instead of steps
bus ticket has free coupon for plastic surgery on the back
every time bus pulls into a stop everybody claps