ИТТ постим свои истории о том, как провели встречу нового года

I live in Perth so New Year's was practically yesterday for me. My family wanted a Skype reunion (they live in another country) but I made a bunch of excuses because my plan was to have sex and ejaculate exactly when it reached 12:00.

Unfortunately Perth is a shithole and I grew desperate. Eventually I tried to get a prostitute but I got worried she would be ugly or have STDs and changed my mind and pretended to be a hobo when one appeared so that I could get away from her. She was ugly.

Then I tried to convince my gay friend that I was also gay and he should let me cum in him. But I wasted one hour arguing with him and in the end he admitted he wasn't really gay, he just told all his friends that because he wanted to fuck a girl that was a fervent LGBT rights supporter.

The argument went to whether anyone in Planescape Torment was a tranny and it got really heated, until his sister walked in and I considered attacking her but I decided it would really ruin my New Year's Day if I was in jail for assault/rape so I just started fapping in front of them instead. Long story short I got kicked out of the house and couldn't get a cab back home

I arrived back at after 11 and realized I had less than one hour to complete my New Year's quest. I got drunk and tried to fuck the bottle but I shattered it and cut my dick. In mydrunken state I hit upon the idea of fucking a pizza delivery guy (I didn't stop to think that they may not be gay). I called, but they sent me a girl instead. I decided that that was even better, but then she asked if I was okay because I had blood on my pants. I said I was having my period and asked for directions to her house because I thought that was a smooth move. She gave me a weird look and walked away. I caught up with her and pretended to faint thinking she'd send me to hospital for the blood on my dick and I could, I don't know, rape the people in the ambulance by 12 midnight.

She ignored me and it hurt to fap so I went to sleep